Long Day
>> 7.31.2008
Yesterday, I was seriously considering walking down to the ocean and just swimming home. I can’t begin to describe to you how incredibly frustrated I was. I’m sure you have noticed an undertone of frustration in a lot of my entries. I think it is only fair to express that openly right now- because frustration is a big part of justice work. There is the constant frustration of not being able to help everyone and frustration with how broken the whole system is. There is the frustration with NGOs that, though they are doing the best they can, just aren’t doing much. For me, there is a lot of frustration with men constantly asking me for my number, or to marry them (I’ve been asked three times this week already). There are the typical daily frustrations just like at home. There are plenty of frustrations that come with working and living with the same 3 people for 2 months. The fact is this isn’t easy- and not in the clichéd “no one said it would be easy” way, but it is a real struggle.
That said- I wouldn’t trade this for the world. I am learning a ton. I can’t come up with any answers yet (which is frustrating), but I am taking it all in. I am changing things- but not the way I thought I would. It isn’t nearly as easy as I thought- and while I have been able to help people… at the end of the day it never feels like enough. At the end of every day I just lay down and realize though I have helped, there is just so much that needs helping here. I am trying to wrap my head around what the heck can be done to help
I have been doing a lot of good. Mohammed has been learning a lot of English, and it seems to be giving him a sense of self worth. I’ve been doing a lot of creative counselling with some of the men at City of
3 comments:
When you have reached the end of all visible light and stand in total darkness, faith is knowing that your next step will land your foot on solid ground.
Slow down, listen to your heart, and you will find that the best way to change the world is to realize it is not your job to do it alone.
I am certain that everyone on this end of your blog has come to understand what your frustration may prevent you from seeing.
This is certainly your last visit to Africa, or your only attempt to save the world.
We all stand witness to the beginning of a serious life long pursuit of service to others.
Commitment is a bond that is forged through time and perseverance, and your time there will give you the strength, tools, and insight to begin to shape your mission in the future.
And you thought *I* would be proposed to first. Hahaha.
Dude. You can't do this all in two months. It doesn't work that way. I know that's frustrating (key word) but you are not meant to do this alone. You are not the first, and you are certainly not the last. With solely the mustard seed of faith that you have invested in people's medication, tuition fees, and putting together a mural for a counseling center, with these things alone, you have CHANGED people's lives. Maybe they aren't long term solutions, but they are a first step. You helped to initiate that, and it makes all the difference in the world.
-Vanessa
It should have said It is certainly NOT your last visit to Africa.
How one missed word can change an entire message?!?!
You go girl!!!
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