Putting Pen to Paper

After goodness knows how many drafts and even more hours of pondering I have finally forced myself to simply write this, as incomplete as it still feels. First, a shameless plug for an amazing opportunity coming up.

If you ever wondered what life if like for children living with HIV then you need to check out Colonial Church in Edina, October 31st through November 4th, 2008.

So without further adieu, a preview of my last Chaska Herald Article... Enjoy!

"Upon stepping back into the developed world at London's Heathrow Airport, I stood completely frozen. The glow of neon lights fell dimly on my face as shops of every kind stretched endlessly before me, and passengers, a startling number of whom seemed to be white, rushed past me to make connecting flights. I shivered as the sterile, seemingly freezing air filled my lungs. And that's when it hit me- this is 'culture shock'

People are beginning to ask if I'm getting used to being home from my two months of work Sierra Leone. I doubt they are ready to hear the full story. So, instead, I smile and tell them that I've only been back for a month, and things are very different here in the United States. Although in all honesty, I'm beginning to wonder if I will ever again be "used" to life here. It is amazing how two months in Africa can so drastically change perspectives gained from 19 years of living in America.

'Wance laif de, op de,' is a popular proverb in Sierra Leone. At first glance the phrase (translated 'as long as there is life, there is hope') hardly seems applicable to the poverty and desperation that so often is West Africa. Surrounded by rusted tin roofs, open mass graves, and terrible hygiene, I found myself in the midst of sheer beauty.

I watched time and time again as people gave away literally their last Leones (the local currency) to help a neighbor buy malaria medicine or pay school fees. These people, 70% of whom are living on less than $2 per day, gave away their money and possessions unflinchingly. The generosity and humility of these individuals who shared so freely, not knowing where their daily bread would come from, amazed me.

Hospitality is a word that isn’t used too often in the typical American’s vocabulary. It isn’t spoken off too often in Sierra Leone either; it is just a ways of life. My neighbors welcomed me into the community literally with open arms. I spent my evenings learning to cook African style, singing, dancing, and my personal favorite, playing on the streets with wonderful children. Lately I’ve found myself taking walks around my neighborhood, hoping to find someone to sit with or children to play with, only to find myself isolated.

Life wasn’t easy, and at times I became incredibly frustrated as I watched HIV patients waste away before my eyes. Worse yet was the constant reality that one in every four children I met would not live past the age of five. My African friends, sensing my discouragement, would tell me to 'take courage,' and invite me to come eat and sing with them. Most days I wondered who exactly was helping whom.

I have come back now with not only my story, but with the stories of my new family, friends and neighbors. I knew that working in Africa would change my life, but I wasn't prepared for Africa to become part of the very core of who I am.

I am, more than ever, dedicated to changing the world. I've fallen in love with wonderful people who just happen to be the poorest of the poor. Social justice is no longer an abstract concept that is hip to talk about while sipping fair trade coffee on the West Bank; it is the only hope for my friends’ futures. Life gets messy when you go from loving the idea of justice to loving the people who need it. Life also suddenly becomes much more beautiful.

People keep asking me what they can do to help. The truth is, I don't know. I've learned a lot, but I still don't have things figured out. There are only two things I can tell you. One is to love until it hurts, and then love more, as Mother Teresa eloquently put it. The second is to ask hard questions, even if you might not find, or like, the answers.

To those of you who are undoubtedly asking 'do you want to go back?' I'll simply tell you this-- I will be submitting my Peace Corps application in December."