I Have HIV- Hope In Victory- Do you?

Tomorrow- December 1st, 2008- is World AIDS Day.

Lots of great events are going on around the twin cities. There are things happening all week, check out the Department of Health's site to find out more. Some of my favorites are:

Global Films on HIV/AIDS – St. Paul

Sponsored by Neighborhood House
Monday, December 1, 2008
4:00 p.m. – 6:30 p.m.
at
Paul and Sheila Wellstone Center for Community Building
179 Robie Street East
St. Paul, MN 55107

Mark your calendar for a series of film showings on the topic of HIV/AIDS on World AIDS Day, December 1st. Local organizations will have an opportunity to showcase some of their educational films/videos/DVDs that they use on HIV/AIDS. More details forthcoming. For more information, contact Sandy Agustin, Neighborhood House, (651) 789-2567, or by e-mail at: sagustin@neighb.org.

Our Wicked, Wicked Ways! – Minneapolis

Sponsored by the Minnesota AIDS Project
Monday, December 1, 2008
9:00 p.m.
at
The BOLT Underground
501 Washington Avenue South
Minneapolis, MN 55415

A one night only cabaret performance benefiting the Minnesota AIDS Project and Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS will take place World AIDS Day. Don’t miss this 90-minute “wickedly entertaining” evening of songs performed by members of the Broadway National Touring Company of Wicked. The cast will also auction a number of items, including a special opportunity for a “walk on” during one of the remaining performances of the show. Tickets are $15.00 in advance or $20.00 at the door. Advance purchase at www.mnaidsproject.org or call the Wicked Hotline at (612) 373-2407.

Allan Spear Forum: Mark Senak – Attorney/Healthcare Policy Expert - Minneapolis

Sponsored by the Minnesota AIDS Project (MAP)
Monday, December 1, 2008
7:00 p.m.
at
University of Minnesota Law School
Lockhart Auditorium
229 19th Avenue South
Minneapolis, MN

This forum is free and open to the public and will feature author Mark Senak who works at the international communications firm of Fleishman-Hillard. Senak brings extensive experience in HIV policy with 14 years combined service with AIDS Project Los Angeles and prior to that with the Gay Men’s Health Crisis in New York, the two largest HIV service providers in the nation. While there, Senak worked on campaigns that included advocacy as well as public health, in encouraging people to be tested and treated for HIV, having to target multiple and varied audiences as well as dealing with legal issues surrounding the emergence of HIV. For more information, call MAP at (612) 373-9162 or visit MAP’s web site at: www.mnaidsproject.org.

About World AIDS Day-
It is estimated that 33 million people in the world are living with HIV/AIDS, at least two million of who are children.
25 million people have died from AIDS since 1981, 2 million of them last year.
In Africa alone, there are 11.6 million children orphaned by AIDS.

These numbers are huge and incredibly hard to process, I know. This is Blessing. She is one of the two million children living with HIV. We will only win this if we all work together. Come join the fight. Save a life.

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Big News on the HIV Front

"Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine and colleagues in the United Kingdom have engineered T cells able to recognize HIV-1 strains that have evaded the immune system. The findings of the study, published online in the journal Nature Medicine, have important implications for developing new treatments for HIV, especially for patients with chronic infection who fail to respond to antiretroviral regimens." -Science Daily

A cure? No. Hope? Yeah, definitely.

You can check out the full story on Science Daily. You may have heard that in the last year testing for a potential HIV vaccine from Merck (who, for better or for worse, my brother acutally lobbies for) failed. In human trials the vaccine failed miserably, acutally making a subgroup of the subjects more vulnerable to HIV. Like many vaccines, Merck's vaccine, V520, used a few weakened human immunodeficiency viruses- none of which were strong enough to infect a person- delivered via a virus that usually causes the common cold. The idea behind this (and vaccines in general) is that once the body sees the human immunodeficiency virus it will be prepared to deal with it if someone is infect in the future. The problem, many researchers suspect, may have been in the use of the common cold virus to deliver the vaccine, which many people had already encountered in everyday life. In face of huge disappointment the trials were, rightly, stopped. And, until a few hours ago, that's about where the world stood on a HIV vaccine...

This new research does not prevent the acquisition of HIV, but drastically reduced the levels of the virus in monkeys and prevented the progression of HIV to AIDS. In case that is confusing- HIV, human immunodeficiency virus, is a virus, the infection. Once the virus is in your system, it slowly begins to kill off a person's T Cells, which are critical for a healthy immune system. With an immune system practically wiped out, HIV then turns into AIDS, acquired immunodeficiency syndrome, which basically means your body is incredibly weak and starts being attacked by all sorts of opportunistic infections it would otherwise be able to fight off. This is a large part of the reason HIV is so dangerous, someone could be HIV+ for years and spreading the virus without knowing until they become sick as many as ten years later. Antiretroviral drugs are currently used to help keep the virus in check, but not everyone responds to antiretroviral drugs, and people often need to switch drugs as the lose their effectiveness. A new preventivie treatement (which this is not, but could help develop) triggering a natural immune response when an individual is exposed to HIV would have amazing implications.

This is, by no means, a cure of the end of the fight agains HIV. 2 million people still died of AIDS last year and there are currently over 11 million children orphaned by AIDS in Africa alone. But this is defiantely potentially very good news.

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On the Horizon

Another shameless advertisement for the World Vision Experience "Step Into Africa" October 31st through November 3rd at Colonial Church in Edina. It's a wonderful opportunity- please take a half an hour out of your weekend to see what it is like to live with HIV in a developing nation.


World AIDS Day is coming up soon- December 1st, 2008. I am hoping to put together a (small) community event to increase awareness leading toward a larger series of week long events in May for AIDS Action Week. So, I'm looking to you, the community, for some ideas. What do you know about HIV/AIDS? What do you need to learn? What do your kids need to know? What would be a good way to present it? How can I get people involved? But most importantly- what will make you care? That is a loaded question, I know, but I'd like to honestly know what would make you start to care about HIV/AIDS? I feel like there is a strong perception of HIV as "something that doesn't happen here" in the suburbs- it's a gay disease, an African disease, a women disease, a poor person's disease, a minority disease, a prostitute's disease, an urban disease... what ever it is, it is someone else's disease. There are every kind of people living in every situation who are HIV+, so how do we stop the "us" and "them"?

And- though it was two weeks ago- my trip to New York was awesome. It was a great time to start planning things for the rest of the year, see some of the other volunteers and get to see where most of the United Methodist programs are staffed and run from.

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Putting Pen to Paper

After goodness knows how many drafts and even more hours of pondering I have finally forced myself to simply write this, as incomplete as it still feels. First, a shameless plug for an amazing opportunity coming up.

If you ever wondered what life if like for children living with HIV then you need to check out Colonial Church in Edina, October 31st through November 4th, 2008.

So without further adieu, a preview of my last Chaska Herald Article... Enjoy!

"Upon stepping back into the developed world at London's Heathrow Airport, I stood completely frozen. The glow of neon lights fell dimly on my face as shops of every kind stretched endlessly before me, and passengers, a startling number of whom seemed to be white, rushed past me to make connecting flights. I shivered as the sterile, seemingly freezing air filled my lungs. And that's when it hit me- this is 'culture shock'

People are beginning to ask if I'm getting used to being home from my two months of work Sierra Leone. I doubt they are ready to hear the full story. So, instead, I smile and tell them that I've only been back for a month, and things are very different here in the United States. Although in all honesty, I'm beginning to wonder if I will ever again be "used" to life here. It is amazing how two months in Africa can so drastically change perspectives gained from 19 years of living in America.

'Wance laif de, op de,' is a popular proverb in Sierra Leone. At first glance the phrase (translated 'as long as there is life, there is hope') hardly seems applicable to the poverty and desperation that so often is West Africa. Surrounded by rusted tin roofs, open mass graves, and terrible hygiene, I found myself in the midst of sheer beauty.

I watched time and time again as people gave away literally their last Leones (the local currency) to help a neighbor buy malaria medicine or pay school fees. These people, 70% of whom are living on less than $2 per day, gave away their money and possessions unflinchingly. The generosity and humility of these individuals who shared so freely, not knowing where their daily bread would come from, amazed me.

Hospitality is a word that isn’t used too often in the typical American’s vocabulary. It isn’t spoken off too often in Sierra Leone either; it is just a ways of life. My neighbors welcomed me into the community literally with open arms. I spent my evenings learning to cook African style, singing, dancing, and my personal favorite, playing on the streets with wonderful children. Lately I’ve found myself taking walks around my neighborhood, hoping to find someone to sit with or children to play with, only to find myself isolated.

Life wasn’t easy, and at times I became incredibly frustrated as I watched HIV patients waste away before my eyes. Worse yet was the constant reality that one in every four children I met would not live past the age of five. My African friends, sensing my discouragement, would tell me to 'take courage,' and invite me to come eat and sing with them. Most days I wondered who exactly was helping whom.

I have come back now with not only my story, but with the stories of my new family, friends and neighbors. I knew that working in Africa would change my life, but I wasn't prepared for Africa to become part of the very core of who I am.

I am, more than ever, dedicated to changing the world. I've fallen in love with wonderful people who just happen to be the poorest of the poor. Social justice is no longer an abstract concept that is hip to talk about while sipping fair trade coffee on the West Bank; it is the only hope for my friends’ futures. Life gets messy when you go from loving the idea of justice to loving the people who need it. Life also suddenly becomes much more beautiful.

People keep asking me what they can do to help. The truth is, I don't know. I've learned a lot, but I still don't have things figured out. There are only two things I can tell you. One is to love until it hurts, and then love more, as Mother Teresa eloquently put it. The second is to ask hard questions, even if you might not find, or like, the answers.

To those of you who are undoubtedly asking 'do you want to go back?' I'll simply tell you this-- I will be submitting my Peace Corps application in December."

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Life as... usual?

I want to make you all aware of an awesome opportunity coming to the the twin cities soon. Colonial Church in Edina will be hosting World Vision's exhibit on AIDS October 31-November 3. Basically, you literally walk through a day of the life of a real child in Africa with AIDS. It is incredibly well put together and sure to be an enlightening and intense experience. Check out World Vision's website to see what it is all about.

In the past two weeks I have started to be asked "are you getting used to being home?" quite often. That is a really good question. In a way I suppose I am settling back into the rhythm of life here- school, intern/work, rehearsal, study, sleep, repeat. It is hectic, but not too hard to get used to. As far as acutally feeling normal- not at all.

A few days ago I had the opportunity to go see Chris Pope talk at Colonial Church in Edina. Chris works for world vision and has been all over the world to check in on how their projects are going. The topic of his talk was "what Africa teaches me about God and the poor." I left the talk practically skipping. It was so refreshing and relieving to simply listen and talk to someone else who understands. Who has been there. Who has seen it. Who has lived it.

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Wance Laif De, Op De

A neat story I thought I would share with you guys-

One of my good friends in Sierra Leone was Morrison. Morrison is a 20(ish) year old, intelligent, laid back guy. He had finished high school but had no money to continue his education. While I was there and at the time I left, his life was in a pretty rough situation. He was living with is father, unable to find work (which is a challenge for most Sierra Leoneans) and unable to pay for future education (one year of university fees in Sierra Leone is about $600-700). Somehow (I'm a bit fuzzy on the details- it is expensive to call Sierra Leone and my reception is always pretty bad), someone decided to sponsor Morrison, and he will be start his first year of college studying accounting later this month!

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Adjusting

It is amazing how two months in Sierra Leone can so dramatically change perspectives I have gained from 19 years of living in the United States. The warm late August breeze, the glow of the lights on Lake Street and my down pillow all feel so familiar. Yet in the midst of that familiarly there is a dissonance, like something incredibly subtle has changed in the very essence of these experiences. I can’t yet name this sensation, but it feels a bit like I can’t quite find my balance on what I know should be even ground.

Despite being welcomed home with open arms (quite literally), being back is an isolating experience. I have quickly realized that though my experiences in Sierra Leone have given me great insight into living as a community, in many ways it has also removed me from that community. No amount of explanations or photographs can truly show someone the frustrations or joys of working in the least developed country in the world. While I anticipated this, what I did not expect was the difference of everyday, normal life experiences. I simply want to be able to have a conversation with someone who knows the distance from the big market to Lumley, who understands the value of Le6,500 or who doesn’t immediately put Africa into the stereotype of intolerable poverty or overzealous hope. It quickly becomes frustrating to not be able to tell a simple story without 20 minuets of background, and even then knowing no one understands.

Not only is it hard to share my experience while abroad, it is difficult to relate the experience of my homecoming. I haven’t come home bitter, disgusted and blaming American culture like many do. And so, it is frustrating to see people (many of whom have not had the opportunity to see this poverty first hand) who so quickly assail our culture. Of all the things I learned while working on HIV/AIDS, it was that it is incredibly difficult to change a culture. I’m not saying that I endorse Western culture and I am certainly not saying there aren’t a lot of things about the system that need to be changed. However, what we have is exactly that, a system- and if you remember your intro sociology class, recall that systems resist change. Blatantly attacking our culture will only reinforce what we are trying to transform. There is certainly a need for directed outrage- but only when that outrage is filled with genuine love for both the oppressed and the oppressor and with the understanding that we are all, like it or not, part of the system.

I have come back now with not only my story, but with the stories of my new family, friends and neighbors. Social justice is no longer an abstract concept that is hip to talk about while sipping fair trade coffee on the West Bank; it is the only hope for my friend’s futures. Life gets messy when you go from loving the idea to loving the people. Life also suddenly becomes much more beautiful.

At the moment, I’m not entirely sure where I’m going from here. I have a lot of ideas floating around in my mind, many of which involve access to education, and using that as a tool to build awareness in the family (and, hopefully from there the greater community) about many issues such as HIV/AIDS, gender equality, violence, ways to save money for emergencies, and adult literacy. I know a lot of women who would greatly benefit from a micro loan. Where am I going from here to help my friends in Sierra Leone? What am I doing about HIV/AIDS, drug abuse, and poverty in Minneapolis? Where am I going with my life when I’m done with school? Those are all very good questions that don’t quite have answers yet. I’m still trying to find my balance and work through all of my experiences. The one thing I can say is that life will be very different from here on out, however that may be.

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Home

After a long journey I am safely back in Minnesota. I'm still recovering from jet lag and adjusting to time, not to mention all of the cultural differences. I plan on posting a lot more in the next two weeks, but right now I am working on sorting through and evaluating everything. I will also have nearly all of my photos available online soon, so check back for the address.

Since I won't have a post up for a few days and didn't have the time (or, to be honest, money) to post for my last few days in Sierra Leone I thought I should put something up- so here is one of my last journal entries written while I was on the ferry on my way to the airport.

"Reading my journal entries from my first few days in Africa, I can't help but laugh. Things that surprised me (understandably) and I found so new are now so common place. Of course I can bribe an official for a visa, of course I need to take doxycycline on a full stomach if I don't want to be sick, of course there is no electricity after midnight, of course there are starving dogs all over the road, of course the speedometer on a car would never work. Of course, that is just Sierra Leone.
I can't believe how hard it is to leave this place. I am really looking forward to a warm pressurized shower, a raspberry smoothie from Inta Juice, my own bed, clean clothes, Saturdays on NPR, but none of that means anything in comparison to the wonderful people I've met here. T miss my family, Tyler (Sit), my church, my dogs, but I honestly feel like I have family here. Saying goodbye, people were telling their children to say goodbye to their "auntie," and saying I am their sister now. I am going to miss Mohamed, Joseph, Kaba, Mariama, Roseline, Madda, Assan, Beuresford, Charles, Morrison and many others so much. Tuesday mornign will be a sad day when I leave my house without Caddy, Miracle, Abou, Aminata, and all of our other neighbor children mobbing me. It was terrifying to come here, but it is heart breaking to leave. After all, love is greater than fear."

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Only 4 Cold Showers Left

My mixed feelings have only intensified since my last post. There have been a lot of moments in the past two weeks that have made me cry out of sheer frustration. In the past few days there have been a lot of subtler moments that have brought tears to my eyes- moments with our neighbor children singing to me, cooking with my friend, watching the sunset over the ocean... I guess only time will tell how I feel when I get back.

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9 And Counting...

I only have 6 minuets of internet time left, so this will be incredibly brief. I leave Sierra Leone in just 9 days, and yesterday was our last work day. Tuesday all of the other volunteers are coming for regrouping, Sunday*I leave for the airport, and Monday*I fly to London, Chicago, and finally home. I can hardly believe it.

I have to admit I have very mixed feelings about leaving. I can't wait to get a hot, pressurized shower, some real food, to sleep in my own bed, to see my dogs, to listen to NPR... but I am also going to miss this place so very much. I will be so sad to walk out my front door and not have 14 neighbor kids mob me every morning, to not go "pay a visit" to all of my neighbors and friends, to not be here, in this place I've learned to love so much.

*Sorry, I listed the wrong days earlier, I leave for the airport Sunday, not Saturday, and fly out Monday.

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August?

As a missionary- I probably shouldn't admit this, but I discovered a new book in the bible yesterday. In complete honesty, I had never even heard of Habakkuk until I happened upon it yesterday. It was reassuring to read though, because while it didn't give answers, it phrased perfectly the question I am trying to ask...

How long, O Lord, must I call for help,
but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, "Violence!"
but you do not save?

Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrong?
Destruction and violence are before me;
there is strife, and conflict abounds.

Therefore the law is paralyzed,
and justice never prevails.
The wicked hem in the righteous,
so that justice is perverted.

To be honest, I didn't find much of an answer in God's answers in Habakkuk, but as always, Luke 4:16 comes to mind...

He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom. And he stood up to read. The scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written:
"The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
because he has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to release the oppressed,
to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor."
Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him, and he began by saying to them, "Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing."

I'm still in the formation phase of this thought, so I'll leave you to reflect on these two scriptures for a while until I have my thoughts formulated enough to write them here.

Justice is a long battle, and I'm in it till then end. I'm just still figuring out where to start fighting.

In case you were wondering, my weekend at the beach was wonderful. It was a perfect day on Friday, the beach was beautiful, I found a friendly dog, the ocean was great for swimming... it was a very serene weekend, exactly what I needed.

Lastly- is it really August already? Somebody pinch me!

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Lakkah

I am off to a much needed weekend at the beach. It will be great to have some time out of the city, a chance to relax, to not constantly be around people for once and to meditate. Here is a preview of Lakkah, I'll catch y'all on the flip side.

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Long Day

Yesterday, I was seriously considering walking down to the ocean and just swimming home. I can’t begin to describe to you how incredibly frustrated I was. I’m sure you have noticed an undertone of frustration in a lot of my entries. I think it is only fair to express that openly right now- because frustration is a big part of justice work. There is the constant frustration of not being able to help everyone and frustration with how broken the whole system is. There is the frustration with NGOs that, though they are doing the best they can, just aren’t doing much. For me, there is a lot of frustration with men constantly asking me for my number, or to marry them (I’ve been asked three times this week already). There are the typical daily frustrations just like at home. There are plenty of frustrations that come with working and living with the same 3 people for 2 months. The fact is this isn’t easy- and not in the clichéd “no one said it would be easy” way, but it is a real struggle.

That said- I wouldn’t trade this for the world. I am learning a ton. I can’t come up with any answers yet (which is frustrating), but I am taking it all in. I am changing things- but not the way I thought I would. It isn’t nearly as easy as I thought- and while I have been able to help people… at the end of the day it never feels like enough. At the end of every day I just lay down and realize though I have helped, there is just so much that needs helping here. I am trying to wrap my head around what the heck can be done to help Sierra Leone- but I just can’t figure it out. There are hundreds of intelligent individuals in think tanks all over the world working on this, and they have no idea what the heck to do. Neither do I.

I have been doing a lot of good. Mohammed has been learning a lot of English, and it seems to be giving him a sense of self worth. I’ve been doing a lot of creative counselling with some of the men at City of Rest, which has been a good outlet for them. I’ve been able to help a lot of people buy medicine. We redid the counselling room (which wasn’t at all fit to be a storage room, much less counselling room before) at SWAASL and I am doing a great mural. I’ve made some wonderful friends both in the organizations and in our neighbourhood. But at the end of the day I’m still dying to change the world and clueless on how to do it.

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Justice?

I wrote this a few weeks ago for the Chaska Herald, and have been waiting on it to be published before I put it here. However this is how I have been feeling for the past few weeks, and the most articulate I think I could make it...

My first two weeks working to change the world have proven to be both incredibly rewarding and incredibly frustrating. The more I learn about the problems facing Sierra Leone, the less I understand what could be done to fix them. The conventional rules of development used in the Western world simply don’t seem to apply here.

The distinction between charity and justice has also become quite evident during my time here. Charity, short term assistance aim at the immediate needs of an individual person, is easy to do here. Justice, long term changes to policy and systems meant to address the root cause of the problem facing individuals, is difficult to do here. I have been able to do much charity work- helping individuals buy food, visiting HIV/AIDS patients, counselling, praying, and simply listening. As rewarding as these activities have been though, Sierra Leone needs both charity and justice.

One of the many wonderful people I have met here is Joseph. An ambitious soon-to-be 18 year old, Joseph is always smiling and always working. Joseph works with his uncle, Kaba, cleaning the YMCA hostel we are staying, hoping to earn enough money to pay for his last three years of high school. Kaba splits his salary (which, at about $50 a month, is barely enough to pay for food and transportation) with Joseph, but saving the $25 needed for one year of school fees is nearly impossible despite the fact that Joseph is one of the hardest working individuals I know. Since I firmly believe that every person has the right to an education, I was overjoyed to sponsor Joseph’s next year of school. He nearly made me cry when Joseph told me, “before my future was almost dead, but you have resurrected it. God Bless you.” I truly believe that small acts like this with great love can change the world.

However, there is a nation full of young, ambitious, wonderful individuals just like Joseph, who would like nothing more than the opportunity to go to school. Charity cannot send all of these children to school, only justice can do that. While I continue to help individuals, it is important to also ask what systematic changes can be made to help all of the individuals of Sierra Leone. As I mentioned earlier, it is incredibly difficult to formulate and execute effective systematic changes here, as all of the problems are densely interrelated. Over the next few weeks I am embarking on the daunting task of better understanding of the problems facing Sierra Leone and how our community can better help our global neighbours. It can easily become overwhelming, but no one ever said working in the least developed nation in the world would be easy, they only told me it would be worth it.

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HIV-

I took my first ever HIV test today. I went in knowing that there is virtually no way it could be positive. Still walking toward the room I was incredibly nervous. I could feel my heart beating quicker and quicker as I listened to the pretest counseling. I knew that I would be negative, but I was terrified. There was part of me that though "Oh God, what if I am positive?" Another man was also there and did pretest counseling with me and took the test at the same time I did. I can't imagine how terrified he must have been. For me it was a formality, for him it was life. That man came knowing that the result to this test could change his life forever- that took a lot of courage.

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No time!

Ahh- no time to caption! Shots from the hostel (the sunset and my stuffed animal so kindly decorated by Joseph, one of the boys who works here, and a little kitten in our barbed wire) and the beach. Carch you later.

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Oh The Irony

Again, it is raining, or rather pouring, and I am waiting for it to lighten up enough to go to work. And still, we have no water. No water to shower. No water to flush toilets. No water to wash our face. No water to wash dishes. No water. Luckily, we can beg our way into a bucket of water to wash or whatever, but no water from any of the taps. But I can only say what everyone says to me... "Annie, it's Africa."

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Life, As Usual

I just want to begin this post by noting the irony of our current situation. For the past two days, we haven't had water at the hostel. We can get a bucket from the tap if we need it, but we haven't had running water (so think showers, toilets, taps, cooking...). However, as I am in Sierra Leone during the rainiest month of the year, it has been raining nearly all day, often completely pouring. It was raining so hard on Sunday morning that we could not leave for church... yet we have no water.

So life here is settling into a rhythm. I am getting used to work, but also life here. I've been able to make some good friends, not just people who want to talk about "How is Sierra Leone? What is America like?" all of the time, but actual friend who I can just hang out with. It is really nice- it feels like life as usual. And while life as usual isn't necessarily as exciting sounding as busy saving the world, it is good. As a preface to this next statement I will say that I have met many amazing volunteers and missionaries here who this does not apply to. That said, so many volunteers/missionaries/expats here want nothing to do with the local people or culture. They live in nice complexes (though I'll say the YMCA is, comparatively, pretty nice) and don't leave, have drivers and never take a poda poda or taxi. They don't eat at local restaurants, they always go to the fancy, air conditioned, incredibly expensive foreign restaurants that almost no local could ever afford. When they do go out, they go to expat hangouts only- they go to the expensive, sheltered bars and international clubs, not to the little beach shacks that could desperately use the business. Often they have made no effort to learn any krio besides "hello" or "how are you?" and generally don't talk to the people they are supposedly here to help. There are NGOs everywhere here, and like I mentioned earlier, the country lives off of them. That said, since there are so many NGO workers, there aren't all necessarily the ones who really want to be here. So life as usual with in a real Sierra Leonean community is good. It's nice to have people to just talk with, be with, learn from, joke with. I'm seeing the real face of Sierra Leone. And while hanging out with the neighbors and learning how to cook African food isn't a huge, prophetic act saving the world, it's the little act with great love- and the more I am here, the more I realize that is all I can do for now.

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A Very Quick Update

Today at City of Rest I met a young man (just a year or two younger than me) who dropped out of school in the 3rd form and speaks only Krio (deep krio, the hardest kind for me to understand, at that). During an incredibly intense game of "snakes and ladders" (chutes and ladders, but with snakes) with 4 young men cheating like crazy and me continually saying "Yu de tif, yu de tif!" ("You're cheating, you're cheating!"), he told me that he wants to learn to speak English, and if possible to read. Perfect. I've been struggling to find a concrete things that I can do for the people at City of Rest, and what better than to teach? It will be interesting to try to teach someone with my limited krio skills, but all the more reason to learn quickly. I am incredibly excited for this opportunity! This is what I love to do.

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Here, There, Everywhere

Today while we were going across town in a poda poda (the local version of mass transit, which is in fact nothing at all like mass transit, just an extremely old van with too many people in it), I noticed how many NGOs there are (Non-Government Organizations, mostly non profits trying to help people). When I mentioned it to Laura (who has been working at SWASSL through Volunteer Services Oversees for the last 8 months) she said "Yeah, that is the way people stay alive here." Sadly, that is very true. Some people here can get by on their own, most just scrape by with the help of NGOs, and some don't survive. As hard as people work, a lot simply can't survive alone. Many people really need someone outside of the system to help them get by- there is a cycle that they just can't break without someone from outside of the cycle stepping in. As glad as I am to step in, I've really been racking my brain for how to change that cycle, how to help people help themselves. I'm not sure how to do it yet- but I am turning it over in my mind constantly, so hopefully I'll start to have some ideas soon (though everything is still coming around the education).

Maybe you are all getting tired of pictures of the sunset over the ocean- but I feel so blessed to see it everyday (and it is always beautiful!) so I like to share. Not to mention I'm sure my mom likes it :). The other pictures are of a sweet little girl I met at SWAASL (names are confidential though). I love the hair- it is adorable. I'm planning on getting mine braided soon, so I'll put some pictures up. I love my African clothes (nerdy as I look) and, I am ashamed to say, am beginning to really like R&B and hip hop. My Krio (the local language) is getting better quickly, as is my French. I'm trying to get used to the spicy food, though that is a bit harder. I'm still a vegetarian though, so the spice is fine with me.

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Some new pictures for you viewing enjoyment. The sunset and barge are both taken from our hostel, and the rest just around Freetown. Everywhere I go children run up to me and say "snap me snap me!" (take a picture, take a picture). It is very cute, though it makes it hard to get any candid shots. There is a huge cultural difference in where it is okay to take photos, so it has been hard getting good ones, or some of the ones I want. Make sure to check out the Chaska Herald this week for my first article, and in the coming weeks, as I'm already writing next weeks. Another huge thank you to Mollee Francisco, for helping make this possible. Make sure to tell your friends to check out the blog, and thanks for all of the comments!

As we start to really dig into our work it is getting much harder. It is really tough to see so many people suffering. One of the members of SWAASL (the AIDS society we are working with) is int he hospital and very sick. Between Monday and today you can see her literally just wasting away, losing all of her weight and energy. It is tough- very tough. We just meet so many amazing people who are in such tough positions. People who can't afford food for their families, who can't find work, who can't go to school or university, who are sick with AIDS, with malaria, with typhoid, people who abuse drugs and alcohol, people with mental illness and mental retardation... and I want to save them all. The problem is I can't. I can't save everyone that I meet, which breaks my heart. I can only do the best I can, small things with great love, right?

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Little Things With Great Love

In the last post I said that I had a great birthday present (paying school fees) planned for one of the boys who works here at the hostel. I'm not so patient, so I had a friend give it to him with a note yesterday. He was so excited, as am I. He told me today that before his future was almost dead, but that I had resurrected his future. Wow. Thinking of it almost makes me cry I'm just so... it's so little. It is the least I can do. The very very least- $25 is really nothing. But that means so much to him, it gave him so much hope. Little things with great love... just lots of love.

When I get back I am hoping to link up the people I've met here who want to go to school with people in the states who want to help them. So if you are interested please let me know. When I get back home I am going to be working tirelessly at this... These kids (and young adults) deserve to go to school. So many people work so hard to get an education. So think about it. If you have $25 laying around somewhere (or even less) consider what you could buy at target with it. Then consider "resurrecting someone's future," about giving someone more hope than they could ever imagine.

By the way- watch for a Chaska Herald article this week or next. God bless- thanks for all of the prayers. Please keep praying for the people I am working with here. I have met so many amazing people who could do so many amazing things, who could change the world, if given just a bit of help.

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Figuring Things Out

As we start to dig into our work and into the culture of Sierra Leone it is becoming obvious that changing things here is harder than expected. So many things here- especially economics- just don't function the same here as in the United States. The normal rules of supply and demand just don't apply. The more I think about the problems here, the more I learn, the more I realize they all have one thing in common- education. AIDS, drug abuse, gender based violence, crime, poverty, all of it is wrapped up in education. So the big question is what can we do? Part of me feels that even education wouldn't be enough- because people here with education often can't find that great of jobs, but at this point (on my very limited knowledge) it is definitely what I see as the best way of fighting these problems. There are so many children here who want to go to school, who value it so greatly, but who can't afford to go. The thing is though- it's really not that expensive. Well it is incredibly expensive here, but for us it is nothing. For one year in high school it is $25, but there is just no way for an average family to afford that here. Again, it is one thing to know people can't afford to go to school, it is another thing to know those people. There is a young man (17 years old, his 18th birthday is this month) who is incredibly smart, want to become a lawyer, but has no way to afford school- 75,000 Leones is just way way way too much for him, even though he is working now. He has 3 years left of school, but doesn't know right now if he can continue this coming year due to lack of money. Let me just say that I have a great early birthday present planned for him. Still- that is one person, but I've met so many people who want to go to school... It feels so good to be able to help one person, but it is easy to get hopeless because so many people need help. I'm not hopeless now- but it's going to be a struggle to keep my hope. The people I know are all so amazing though, so there is much new hope to be found.

Pictures here are a huge pain, so I apologize for the low quality. The first pictures is the hallway in our hostel as the sun was setting, the second is of David and I (sorry for the blurry picture, he would only sit still for one, which happened to be our of focus) and the last is a typical building in Freetown.

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Pictures maybe?

Formatting this is impossible here- but here are some pictures- hope you enjoy! The sunset picture is from the hostel- you can see the sunset over the ocean every night- very beautiful. The others were all just taken around Freetown. I really liked the graffiti because I literally haven't gone a day here without hearing the song "Love is Wicked."

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David

While internet connection hasn't been too much of a problem, it has been hard to find the time and energy to write, much less the words to express what has been happening.

Our first week of work has gone pretty well. It's a lot of work, but I really enjoy it. I've been trying to learn some krio (the local language) which has been going surprisingly well. The people at City of Rest (the drug addiction/mental health facility) have been great so far in helping to teach me. It is also a great conversation started to hear some of their stories. It is amazing to hear what some people have been through, surprising to hear how normal everyone is, and made me resolute in finding some way to work on these problems long term. Our work with Society for Women and AIDS in Africa, Sierra Leone Chapter (SWAASL) has been kind of slow, but I had one very moving moment...

A little boy named David, who was just under 5 years old, was sitting on my lap, drawing pictures in my notebook. David is HIV+, he was born negative but received the virus from a blood transfusion when he was 3 years old. He is healthy and doing well now, but Laura, a volunteer from the UK who has been here for 8 months who works at SWAASL, told us that 1 in 4 children here don't reach the age of 6. So I had this precious, beautiful little child on my lap, a wonderful little boy just coloring, talking to me in krio (which I didn't understand at all), smiling, and it just hit me. This child probably won't ever grow up to be my age even. This child may die. It is one thing to see the WorldVision commercials and hear that children die of AIDS, it is entirely different to hold that child, to have him in your arms and know that he has this virus, from a blood transfusion nonetheless, and may die. It was.... it made me question. Question a lot. We really need to do so much more to fight this, to help people here. There are real children dying, children just as real as the ones in our church, in our neighborhood... It is hard- it is a lot to deal with. But I need to deal with this pain if I ever want to help change it.

So right now I am brainstorming and scheming, trying to think of what it is that we, as a community, can do.

I'd love to put up some pictures, as I'm sure you'd like to see, but it just takes too long here. I may try again later, but I doubt it is possible at the moment. God bless- I hope all is well with you guys!

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Africa!

Well I'm here. I landed late Sunday night and while our hostel has internet access, I've just had too much in my mind to write.

So far things have been great. My fellow volunteers are all amazing people with such great stories and so many interesting things to say. I'm a little bummed that most of them leave to sites in Ghana and Zambia on Monday, but excited to start work here.

Sierra Leone is, in general, very different- there are just so many new things to see and try to understand. In the same way- parts of it are very familiar. At meals they have glass bottles of Coke, Fanta, and Sprite. The night here sounds so much like home with the insects and frogs. However instead of Highway Five, there are howling dogs- who are very loud. It's weird- there are dogs everywhere just walking around here. Today we were in a taxi on our way to the United Methodist House and (since driving is incredibly different here, it's CRAZY and no one ever really stops and they just honk) there were some dogs and a tiny puppy in the middle of the street. Our driver just about ran over the puppy. Nicol and I both cringed and looked away, terrified that he would hit the dog. I'm not sure if it moved or if it went between the wheels, but luckily it wasn't hurt. I actually feel quite safe here- but the driving is scary. It's not hippos I have to worry about- it's the cars.

Today we have cassava (a plant) with rice for lunch. I was told that mine had been fixed without meat or fish... but that definitely wasn't the case- so I accidentally ate a little bit of fish, but when I realized what it was after a few bites (because I didn't recognize the taste) I couldn't eat more. It hasn't been too hard being a vegetarian here, but I'm definitely no where near as strict as I am at home. I'm surviving.

Today was the first day I really got out of the hostel. I went downtown with Anton (a fellow volunteer) and Dennis (the brother of our program coordinator who lives in Freetown). It was... overwhelming. Not in a bad way- but just overwhelming. I don't understand the money yet (its all in too big of numbers for me) and I got called "white girl" a lot- but I'm looking forward to exploring more... and hopefully not getting too lost.

The only other exciting (or new, because it's more difficult than exciting) has been all of the French. The most useful thing I brought was my French dictionary. Lots of French- there really isn't too much more to say about that.

I hope all is well with your guys at home- I definitely appreciate all of the prayers and will try to keep in touch as much as possible. If you want to email me use my U of M account (krape003@umn.edu) because my gmail doesn't work well. Take care- look for a Chaska Herald article soon- and God Bless.

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The Beginning of an Adventure

So I am off! It hardly seems like I am leaving already, but in juts a few hours I will be on the first of three planes that will take me to Sierra Leone. Wow.

Talk to you guys from Freetown!

Oh, and by the way- today is my grandma's brithday, so Happy Brithday Grandma Bonnie!!

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A Lot of Hugs

I can't believe I leave for Africa in two days. It seems so incredibly surreal. I finally feel like I am getting all that needs to be done done. The hardest part has been finding time to see everybody I want to see. The frustration of the time crunch has been made up for by all of the great hugs and send offs though. This week has also made me realize just how great my community is. Everyone has been so supportive and loving- I'll miss you guys.

By the way- if you are curious about the image check out http://www.freehugscampaign.org/, it's really quite neat.

If you are a member of Discovery, stop reading here if it is before Sunday, June 22!!!

I wrote this letter to be read to Discovery on Sunday, (so Discovery members no peaking- it will ruin the tear jerking capabilities of my letter on Sunday morning) but I really feel that is applies to all of you-

Dear Family,

While Tyler is reading this to you, I will be on a plane with my 5 fellow American Global Justice Volunteers somewhere between London and Freetown, Sierra Leone. Wow.

I want to extend my most heartfelt gratitude to you all. You have proven that with God everything is possible. You have made my life long dream to work in Africa a reality. There is no way I could have done this without you guys. Thank you for all of the financial support, the prayers, the advice, the stories, and all of the great hugs.

Each and every one of you is so important to me- I will miss you. Discovery and its members have truly been a family to me, walking with me not only in this adventure, but in all of my adventures in everyday life. Thank you. I don't know what I would do without you guys.

I'll leave you with words from "The Lion King,"

"As you go through life you'll see
There is so much that we
Don't understand

And the only thing we know
Is things don't always go
The way we planned

But you'll see every day
That we'll never turn away
When it seems all your dreams come undone

We will stand by your side
Filled with hope and filled with pride
We are more than we are
We are one"

I love all of you very dearly and can't wait to see you when I return.

Shalom,
Annie Mae

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History, Hospitality, and The "P" Word (In Reverse Order)

As I promised Carol- here is a picture of my hands after a long day of fund raising. My hands may be dirty, but Carol's new gardens certainly are beautiful!

I'm sure many of you are saying "the 'p' word? I don't know any four letter p words." Well let me reassure you- I have found a new one. Packing. All of my clothes are currently sprawled out across my deck, letting the permethrin dry. I have a feeling that using such massive amounts of chemicals in such high doses isn't exactly environmentally friendly- but I don't really have a choice. Hopefully they'll dry quickly so I can finish packing, as it is a very unpleasant activity.

I got to meet a lot of wonderful people from Sierra Leone last night at the Rebeca's house. They were some of the most hospitable people I have met- all very friendly and helpful. They were speaking in broken English (Krio) for a lot of the time- which was completely over my head, but very fun to listen to. They taught me (or did their best to teach me) a few words and had lots of great advice. I was especially glad to meet Reverend Shaka, who is leaving for Freetown this week and will be there for six weeks. When I told Rev. Shaka I would be staying at the YMCA hostel on Fort street he said "Oh that is right by Pastor Ngobeh's." I had to turn the name over a few times in my head before I remembered where I knew that name from- Pastor Ngobeh runs City of Rest. I told Rev. Shaka that we were going to be working with City of Rest and with an infectious laugh he said "Oh you don't even need my card then- Just tell Pastor Ngobeh you know me!" A woman named Matilda was also incredibly sweet and helpful. Overall I heard two things from just about everyone...
"We are very friendly people," everybody told me that they love foreigners/strangers and are a very hospitable and friendly nation (which, if people in Sierra Leone are anything like the people I met I believe).
"You'll love it."
Another favorite comment was when I was told I will "come back a better human being for it." Everyone was friendly and supportive- I can't wait! When Rev. Shaka was leaving he shook my hand and said (in a voice with a growl and bounce that reminds me of Louie Armstrong) "I'll see you in Freetown." How cool both that I'm actually going to Sierra Leone (which is still sinking in) and that I know somebody there.

If you remember from the last history lesson- Sierra Leone had many factors creating civil unrest- a weak president, a corrupt, single party government, a economy that was getting worse and worse, illegal arms trade, drug use, strong opposition and poorly managed natural resources. These factors had be stewing for many years by the time war broke out in 1991. As I learned last night- between 1976 and 1980 there was a significant downfall in the economy and things were becoming less safe. In March 1991 The Revolutionary United Front (the opposition army) launched the first attack on Eastern Sierra Leone. The RUF used mutilation extensively as an intimidation tactic- basically they were brutal. One year after the first attack there was a military coup with overthrew President Momoh (which ended up being about as ineffective as Momoh had been). By 1995 the RUF had captured most of the countryside, burning villages, killing and mutilating civilians, and "recruiting" child soldiers. So the new government hired several hundred mercenaries from a private firm and within weeks had pushed the RUF to the boarders of the country. But this is only 1995, and the war didn't officially end until 2002, so what happened in the mean time? All the more incentive to check back later!

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Coincidence? I Think Not!

Let's see if I can manage another update in 3oo words...

• A great big thank you to Lake Minnetonka Orthodontics for their generous donation!
• Things are coming together nicely- I have most of the things I need ready to leave. I must say though, the incidental costs of this trip are adding up pretty quickly. I kind of feel like a master card commercial...
• "Visa, $141
• Anti malarial drugs, antibiotics, antihistamines and typhoid vaccine, $260
• Rain jacket, $38
• Helping others, priceless.
• Some things money can't buy, for everything else there's Annie's bank account."
• Besides the cost though- everything is going very well. I've got all of my clothes ready to go, got an awesome suitcase (which is really a big duffel bag on wheels that converts into a massive backpack) and I almost have everything squared away.

Awesome- under 200 words this time.

I've been incredibly blessed to be making some great connections in the past week. At Missio Dei this week a woman who was visiting offered to introduce me to a woman who grew up in Sierra Leone. Rebeka grew up in Sierra Leone and moved to Minneapolis with her husband (who was a peacecorps worker) many years ago. She now coordinates the events for the Sierra Leonean community in Minneapolis. Rebeka was incredibly helpful and hospitable, not to mention very nice. I'm excited to meet her and others from the Sierra Leonean community later this week. I was also put in contact with the pastor of River Hills UMC in Burnsville who has done a lot of work in Sierra Leone (and the congregation also has strong ties to the nation). It is great to be making all of these connections. I'm feeling a little less clueless, getting some great advice, and meeting amazing people.

Sierra Leone history part II will be up early this week- sorry to keep you in suspense. I guess you'll just have to check back soon!

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Sierra Leone History part I

An update in 300 words or less:

• I have successfully raised $2,200- the program cost! I cannot begin to express my gratitude toward those who have helped me- you have all been such blessings. I still have about $200 or a little more left to pay for medical costs- but a majority of the fund raising is done with. Thank you oh so very much for all of your financial support and prayers. I may sound like a broken record, but I am incredibly grateful.

• I got my plane ticket today. I leave on June 21st at 2pm.
  
  
• I've gotten a great response to the Chaska Herald article. In fact, I've gotten advice from people as far away as Florida (how neat)! If you haven't read it yet you can check it out here. I've loved hearing people's stories, advice and everything else, so don't be shy!!! I'm all about community involvement, so pleasee feel free to email me at krape003@umn.edu with anything at all. I love getting email! Also, please share this website with anyone who may be interested. Community is key. Make sure to keep an eye on The Herald this summer for some interesting articles.
  
  
• I'll be preaching at Discovery United Methodist Church in Chanhassen when I get back on August 31st. I'm also hoping to talk with (though not preach- because once is stressful enough!) other local churches and organizations (especially youth and young adult)- so if you, your organization or your church are interested just shoot me an email. I'll also be speaking at the Chanhassen library in late fall.

262 words- perfect.

So now on to what is, in my opinion, the much more interesting part of this post: a little lesson in modern Sierra Leone history (thought the fact that this interests me so much may reveal my nerdy side). As a forewarning- like all conflicts, there are many different stories of what transpired and many different situations that lead to the violence. This summary is based off of my limited knowledge- do some digging around if you are interested in more in depth info.

It is a little hard to pinpoint exactly what started the civil war. In 1985 Joseph Momoh was elected president in a single party election. Momoh was a military ruler, but not viewed as a dictator. Early in his presidency, Momoh declared a state of economic emergency, which gave him a great deal of economic control. President Momoh's corrupt advisors took advantage of this and the economy continued to decline steadily.
As the government as a whole began to corrode, the trade of weapons became easier, drug abuse increase and crime became problematic. Illegal trade with Liberia also became a major problem. Many of Momohs early opposition (many of whom were students) were expelled from the country, which actually allowed them to foster the opposition. The opposition trained at a military camp in Liberia. These groups then went into the Western Kono District, which, notably, has man diamond mines, and spread their began spreading their ideology.
By this point the economy was, for all practical purposes, at the low of lows. Sierra Leone was (and is) rich in resources, but a very poor country. A struggle over control of the diamond mines and industry began.

So all of the elements necessary for a civil war were present in Sierra Leone- a weak, often uninvolved president, a corrupt government, a single party government, a exceedingly weak economy, illegal arms trade, drug use, deported student opposition, poorly managed natural resources- waiting to explode. And explode they did.

However that is for another post. So be sure to tune in next time for another fascinating look at Sierra Leonean history.

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Three Weeks

I can't believe I leave in only three week! Things are finally starting to come together. My visa is being processed as I type, my shots are all taken care of, I'm getting so close (only about $100 to go) to the $2200 I need to contribute to the program cost (which is great, because it needs to be in the mail on Monday!). Beyond that I need to raise $140 for the cost of my visa, as well as about $200 for medical costs. I'm slowly figuring out what I need to bring with me, though packing alone will be an adventure!

Sorry to those of you who visited the site early yesterday afternoon. It was in limbo for a couple of hours while I tried to find a template that would work. It seems that the HTML skills I learned in 9th grade tech education are a bit rusty. I am aware, as my brother so kindly informed me, that my site "does not look like Africa." It was unfortunate that I couldn't get a layout that is a bit more fitting, but a clean looking, functional layout was all I could hope for yesterday.

There is not much else new news, but over the next week I'll be posting a lot of information about Sierra Leone and the organizations I'm working with- so keep your eyes pealed.

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On a Mission

A big thanks to Mollee Francisco for this great article! Make sure to pick up the Chaska Herald this summer to check out my travel journals (which will be different than my blog) and the other great stories they publish.

On a mission: From prom queen to global humanitarian

By Mollee Francisco

Created 05/29/2008 - 10:28am

Last year Annie Mae Krapek was crowned Chaska High School’s prom queen. That was certainly an adventure, but this year Krapek is ready to embarking on a much bigger endeavor.

In a matter of weeks, Krapek, who has never been out of the country, will jet off to Africa, to spend the summer immersed in the pain and suffering of Sierra Leone. The 19-year-old Chanhassen resident who is studying child psychology at the University of Minnesota was selected as one of only six Americans to travel to Africa to do social justice work through Global Justice Volunteers. For Krapek, it was an ideal situation to whet her feet on African soil.

“It’s always been my dream to teach in Africa,” she said. “I feel called to do that.”

This summer, she’ll spend her time working at a drug addition center and doing HIV/AIDS projects in Sierra Leone. The country, located on Africa’s west coast between Guinea and Liberia, is ranked last on the United Nation’s human development index. It has a 7 percent rate of HIV/AIDS infection, rampant unemployment and is still recovering from a brutal civil war that ended in 2001.

Krapek is a self-described “bleeding heart” who has already devoted much of her time to working with the developmentally disabled and volunteering at homeless shelters.

“It’s a blessing that the things I have been doing have prepared me for this,” she said.

Krapek has no idea what to expect of Sierra Leone, but is working to get rid of her preconceptions before she leaves.

“I just found out hippos are deadly,” she admitted. “If hippos are dangerous, what else is there?”

Krapek is willing to brave the dangers of Africa, though, as she is determined to make the world a better place.

“We have our work cut out for us,” she wrote in an e-mail. “But we’re all ready to go out and change the world. I believe we will.”

As part of her work with Global Justice Volunteers, Krapek will be writing a series of articles on her experience in Sierra Leone. Those columns will be printed in upcoming editions of the Chaska Herald.

“It’s really important to me to let everyone know that though there are absolutely terrible things happening in the world, that there is hope,” she wrote. “That healing is possible, even in the worst of conditions. And that love wins, always.”

In the meantime, Krapek is busy getting plenty of shots, practicing her French, collecting advice from those who have been there and raising money for her travels (volunteers must contribute $2,200 toward their expenses). Thus far, she has been amazed by the generosity of her family, friends and church members.

“When I told my church, people started handing me checks right away,” she recalled.

She hopes that by educating others on her volunteer efforts that they, too, will get involved.

“It is incredibly heartbreaking,” she wrote in her blog. “But if we ever hope for change, we must first be aware of the situation.”

-Mollee Francisco, staff writer

---

Annie Mae Krapek

* 19 years old

* Sophomore studying child psychology at the U of M

* Headed to Sierra Leone to work on drug addiction and HIV/AIDS projects

* Follow Krapek’s journey at www.be-change.blogspot.com

* To donate, send checks to 8051 Cheyenne Avenue, Chanhassen

* Look for Krapek’s travel column this summer in the Chaska Herald

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